Hi guys!
I feel like I've read every single opinion on the Internet and still not found the answer.
I've been with my boyfriend (the first one, btw) for 4 months now and we have been hanging out for 8 months.
Almost a month ago, my boyfriend told me more about his past and it included having a one night stand. I knew about his previous relationships, but this... Well, I freaked out - I mean it was bad - I felt so hurt, told him I think less of him, the breaking up option was discussed, but I still wanted to be with him and so did he, so we stayed together; not gonna explain this further, just the background. Now I realise that how I behaved was just stupid and wrong.
Back to the topic. It was at a time when his boyfriend broke up with him. And he really cared for him and thought they will have some future together and was caught of guard I guess. It destroyed him, he felt angry, betrayed, he thought the relationships don't have a meaning and that there is no such thing as love. Dark time. And well, in this state.. One night this guy texted him and wanted to go out. At first he didn't want to, but after the guy reassured him nothing will happen he went. And they were talking and then it just happened. He says that he just felt horny, hurt by the break up, wanted to prove that relationships are stupid. And that after it he felt even worse, realised how stupid he was, what a mistake he has made. And then, after some time, he met me.
And when I read it like this, I see that he really regrets it and I kind of understand. And I'm a very rational person, but.. It's still bad, somedays I just start obsessing over it for even the whole day, can't think of anything else, can't do anything. It created this barrier, that I just feel empty when I'm with him and feel bad saying that I love him, because I'm not sure if I'm not lying.
He's really nice and kind guy, he says that even the relationships before were nothing compared to the love he feels now, and I want it to be OK again, but I just don't know what to do. Argh..
Well, this is my ramble. I will appreciate any opinion. Even writing it helped a little (and I'm sorry for mistakes, English is not my first language).
Thanks a lot.
I feel like I've read every single opinion on the Internet and still not found the answer.
I've been with my boyfriend (the first one, btw) for 4 months now and we have been hanging out for 8 months.
Almost a month ago, my boyfriend told me more about his past and it included having a one night stand. I knew about his previous relationships, but this... Well, I freaked out - I mean it was bad - I felt so hurt, told him I think less of him, the breaking up option was discussed, but I still wanted to be with him and so did he, so we stayed together; not gonna explain this further, just the background. Now I realise that how I behaved was just stupid and wrong.
Back to the topic. It was at a time when his boyfriend broke up with him. And he really cared for him and thought they will have some future together and was caught of guard I guess. It destroyed him, he felt angry, betrayed, he thought the relationships don't have a meaning and that there is no such thing as love. Dark time. And well, in this state.. One night this guy texted him and wanted to go out. At first he didn't want to, but after the guy reassured him nothing will happen he went. And they were talking and then it just happened. He says that he just felt horny, hurt by the break up, wanted to prove that relationships are stupid. And that after it he felt even worse, realised how stupid he was, what a mistake he has made. And then, after some time, he met me.
And when I read it like this, I see that he really regrets it and I kind of understand. And I'm a very rational person, but.. It's still bad, somedays I just start obsessing over it for even the whole day, can't think of anything else, can't do anything. It created this barrier, that I just feel empty when I'm with him and feel bad saying that I love him, because I'm not sure if I'm not lying.
He's really nice and kind guy, he says that even the relationships before were nothing compared to the love he feels now, and I want it to be OK again, but I just don't know what to do. Argh..
Well, this is my ramble. I will appreciate any opinion. Even writing it helped a little (and I'm sorry for mistakes, English is not my first language).
Thanks a lot.
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