i'm 31, wife is 30. we been together for 7 years and have 2 kids. 6 and 2 year old. marriage was never perfect but we learned to accept each other and we made it work. we had some fights here and there but nothing too serious.
when we first met, we spent some time together and i was afraid to commit, tried to break it off before it went further but i got fooled, she faked to be pregnant, and eventually she got pregnant. i do not regret it as i love my son very dearly, both of them.
all started when she went back to work, due to my inability to keep a steady job for mental issues. last week of december she went haywire and started spending the night over somewhere else. party party party.
so i got extremely mad and asked her to leave me if she wasnt happy with me anymore. things started getting worst and worst. i said things that i should have not said. but i was extremely mad and in pain. she used that against me and i ended up moving out.
her coworkers and bff influenced her into thinking that she had to look pretty and make herself look better. She started buying clothes and dressing up too much for work. I knew something was wrong. Big red flag.
As days went by things kept going downhill, until I had to move out, because she didnt feel good around me. So, i left. Then i have come to find out that she started seeing a supervisor at her work. Right after i left. At first i didnt want to think hard about it, but the more time passes the more i think. To the point that it makes me feel extremely mad and irritated.
I always said, If you cheat on me i will just leave, but now i see that it's easy to say it, than do it. I always thought that if a person cheats, they no longer love the other person enough to stay with them. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in my mind, and going back with her, if ever it happens would be like a humiliation. Would i be able to handle the thoughts of her with another man, when it comes time to get intimate?
Very hard to keep moving on at this point, my head is going around in circles. At times i feel like i can forgive, but then it all turns into anger and bad emotions. It's a very vicious cycle. I need to stop punishing myself. I didnt think i loved her this much when i was with her. But now it's a bit late.
Worst of all, I blame myself for her seeing someone else, to try and make me feel better about her and give her an excuse.
I keep punishing myself and i cant sleep good, my chest feels heavy and i feel heat in the back of my neck.
Every time i make peace with myself, I end up going back and thinking about her. I havent accepted that she is gone. She changed so much and is not the person i fell in love with.
when we first met, we spent some time together and i was afraid to commit, tried to break it off before it went further but i got fooled, she faked to be pregnant, and eventually she got pregnant. i do not regret it as i love my son very dearly, both of them.
all started when she went back to work, due to my inability to keep a steady job for mental issues. last week of december she went haywire and started spending the night over somewhere else. party party party.
so i got extremely mad and asked her to leave me if she wasnt happy with me anymore. things started getting worst and worst. i said things that i should have not said. but i was extremely mad and in pain. she used that against me and i ended up moving out.
her coworkers and bff influenced her into thinking that she had to look pretty and make herself look better. She started buying clothes and dressing up too much for work. I knew something was wrong. Big red flag.
As days went by things kept going downhill, until I had to move out, because she didnt feel good around me. So, i left. Then i have come to find out that she started seeing a supervisor at her work. Right after i left. At first i didnt want to think hard about it, but the more time passes the more i think. To the point that it makes me feel extremely mad and irritated.
I always said, If you cheat on me i will just leave, but now i see that it's easy to say it, than do it. I always thought that if a person cheats, they no longer love the other person enough to stay with them. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in my mind, and going back with her, if ever it happens would be like a humiliation. Would i be able to handle the thoughts of her with another man, when it comes time to get intimate?
Very hard to keep moving on at this point, my head is going around in circles. At times i feel like i can forgive, but then it all turns into anger and bad emotions. It's a very vicious cycle. I need to stop punishing myself. I didnt think i loved her this much when i was with her. But now it's a bit late.
Worst of all, I blame myself for her seeing someone else, to try and make me feel better about her and give her an excuse.
I keep punishing myself and i cant sleep good, my chest feels heavy and i feel heat in the back of my neck.
Every time i make peace with myself, I end up going back and thinking about her. I havent accepted that she is gone. She changed so much and is not the person i fell in love with.
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