Hi Guys and Gals,
Seeking a bit of advice.
8 years married, 34 years old
Happy couple, good sex life until around 2 years ago.
Essentially, because we handle issues differently we grew apart. She has a yell, buries the issue and runs away from it and I want to talk about it, analyse it.
3 months of counselling for me now.
I have found out always been fairly reliant on my partners for approval and hence lost my confidence when things started to go down hill a bit. I didn't ever get a chance to deal with my problems in the relationship and just buried them.
4 Months ago I found out she was cheating on me with an ex boy friend who she still had "abandonment issues" left over from her last relationship.
Long story, but anyway where I am at is that I have found my self, realised that there always need to be ME and then others (didn't ever realise this), and I'm kind of in a space of comfort where I can accept what has happened.
We are living under the same roof (sleeping separately), she has stopped seeing the ex and says she doesn't feel like that now. She just says that she doesn't know who she is any more and really doesn't talk to me much. She does not want to start counselling. I have pushed pretty hard, but it is counter productive.
She says she still loves me and wants the marriage to work.
So, whilst I'm pretty comfortable with myself, I'm living with a depressed wife who obviously feels very guilty, but has yet to be able to begin the healing process.
I am becoming frustrated and kind of angry at her inability to deal with the issue and being around her is just awkward now.
She hardly talks to me.
I still love her, but her silence is killing me slowly.
I have considered telling her to live somewhere else (and she had offered to do so), but I know she doesn't really want to go and she wont be back if she does go (she runs from every relationship she has ever had).
A difficult situation but your advice welcome.
Thanks,
Poida
Seeking a bit of advice.
8 years married, 34 years old
Happy couple, good sex life until around 2 years ago.
Essentially, because we handle issues differently we grew apart. She has a yell, buries the issue and runs away from it and I want to talk about it, analyse it.
3 months of counselling for me now.
I have found out always been fairly reliant on my partners for approval and hence lost my confidence when things started to go down hill a bit. I didn't ever get a chance to deal with my problems in the relationship and just buried them.
4 Months ago I found out she was cheating on me with an ex boy friend who she still had "abandonment issues" left over from her last relationship.
Long story, but anyway where I am at is that I have found my self, realised that there always need to be ME and then others (didn't ever realise this), and I'm kind of in a space of comfort where I can accept what has happened.
We are living under the same roof (sleeping separately), she has stopped seeing the ex and says she doesn't feel like that now. She just says that she doesn't know who she is any more and really doesn't talk to me much. She does not want to start counselling. I have pushed pretty hard, but it is counter productive.
She says she still loves me and wants the marriage to work.
So, whilst I'm pretty comfortable with myself, I'm living with a depressed wife who obviously feels very guilty, but has yet to be able to begin the healing process.
I am becoming frustrated and kind of angry at her inability to deal with the issue and being around her is just awkward now.
She hardly talks to me.
I still love her, but her silence is killing me slowly.
I have considered telling her to live somewhere else (and she had offered to do so), but I know she doesn't really want to go and she wont be back if she does go (she runs from every relationship she has ever had).
A difficult situation but your advice welcome.
Thanks,
Poida
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