A bit of background:
So I'm much younger than my sister and for as long as I can remember she has been in a relationship with this guy (Lets say his name is Kevin). Kevin beats my sister and he can easily manipulate her. When I was little I used to witness him shouting at her and sometimes even slapping her. I've seen the many bruises he's given her. He has even been a bit violent towards me in the past.My mum and I've tried to be as supportive and we've been unsuccesfully trying to get her out of his clutches. We've contacted domestic abuse support groups etc but she is still with him and has been for about 12 years.
The problem:
Recently I've moved in with my own boyfriend. He's lovely. I know that he would never hurt. Even though I know and believe this I feel so scared of him sometimes. Whenever he makes any sudden movements around me I feel like he's trying to hit me or something. When he suddenly holds my hand or takes a step towards me during an argument my heart starts beating faster and I become so afraid and I just want to run. I'm having trouble saying 'No' to him as well even though I know he's not going to do anything to me. I have to constantly keep telling myself that I'm thinking about how Kevin might react and not how my boyfriend would react. I feel like this is so unfair to my boyfriend because he's a wonderful guy who has (and will) never laid a hand on me. Deep down I know that I'm being irrational but in those moments I can't help but be frightened. It's like a reflex of sorts. I don't want this to continue? I want to feel safe.
Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
So I'm much younger than my sister and for as long as I can remember she has been in a relationship with this guy (Lets say his name is Kevin). Kevin beats my sister and he can easily manipulate her. When I was little I used to witness him shouting at her and sometimes even slapping her. I've seen the many bruises he's given her. He has even been a bit violent towards me in the past.My mum and I've tried to be as supportive and we've been unsuccesfully trying to get her out of his clutches. We've contacted domestic abuse support groups etc but she is still with him and has been for about 12 years.
The problem:
Recently I've moved in with my own boyfriend. He's lovely. I know that he would never hurt. Even though I know and believe this I feel so scared of him sometimes. Whenever he makes any sudden movements around me I feel like he's trying to hit me or something. When he suddenly holds my hand or takes a step towards me during an argument my heart starts beating faster and I become so afraid and I just want to run. I'm having trouble saying 'No' to him as well even though I know he's not going to do anything to me. I have to constantly keep telling myself that I'm thinking about how Kevin might react and not how my boyfriend would react. I feel like this is so unfair to my boyfriend because he's a wonderful guy who has (and will) never laid a hand on me. Deep down I know that I'm being irrational but in those moments I can't help but be frightened. It's like a reflex of sorts. I don't want this to continue? I want to feel safe.
Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
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