I'm not going to go into everything as it all in my other thread. Basically wife was sexually abused by a family member when she was in her early teens. She totally repressed this until a few years I to our marriage. At the time she had counseling that I believe was inadequate. Over the next 15 or so years this has been a hibernating bear of sorts in our marriage, waking up at times and causing any number of problems. Lately the problems have become more frequent and intense, and this past weekend it all came out in a bad way.
Long story made short, she is starting counseling tomorrow and I have taken steps to make sure her triggers that have already been identified won't be a problem, at least for now. On top of that I have told her that I will not be seeking sex from her for a period of 2-3 months. It can be less if she chooses, but three months out we are going to Jamaica for our anniversary/second honey moon.
When I mentioned this in my thread here it got very little comment at all, but my daughter and some others have told me I crazy for doing this. First off, It was contingent on her seeking help. Which she is. And I know she will not abuse this and drag it out. Because she herself has told that she does not think it's fair to me. I thought this would be a good thing. Due to the abuse, sex causes her Anxiety and she can't enjoy it. My thinking was that especially early on in counseling she was going to be processing a lot and that adding sex on top of that would be something she didn't need. I'm really just trying to support her any way I can.
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Long story made short, she is starting counseling tomorrow and I have taken steps to make sure her triggers that have already been identified won't be a problem, at least for now. On top of that I have told her that I will not be seeking sex from her for a period of 2-3 months. It can be less if she chooses, but three months out we are going to Jamaica for our anniversary/second honey moon.
When I mentioned this in my thread here it got very little comment at all, but my daughter and some others have told me I crazy for doing this. First off, It was contingent on her seeking help. Which she is. And I know she will not abuse this and drag it out. Because she herself has told that she does not think it's fair to me. I thought this would be a good thing. Due to the abuse, sex causes her Anxiety and she can't enjoy it. My thinking was that especially early on in counseling she was going to be processing a lot and that adding sex on top of that would be something she didn't need. I'm really just trying to support her any way I can.
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