Anon obvs.
Ugh, I never thought I'd be one of those girls posting on TSR about relationship advice but anyway.
Basically, I met this guy on a night out (lets call him Jon). I'm 21, he's 27. We've been dating since (exclusively) for about two months.
Two weeks in, he asked me to go with him to his work charity ball with him. I thought it was a bit much, but it was fun anyway. I see him about twice a week (staying over at either his or mine after we hang out either just me and him or me, him and his friends).
Two of his female friends have said to me that they are so surprised, Jon never introduces them to girls he's seeing and I must be something special for him to be so into me. I get on so well with his friends, they invite me to things automatically, just assuming I'd be with Jon anyway.
So everything is going well. He's pretty much perfect for me. He's so intelligent and funny and cute and we get along so well. This is surprising because I'm used to ****ed up abusive relationships or dodgy ONS normally. We talk about anything and everything - silly inside jokes, family problems, my mental health issues, absolutely anything.
Problem is, I've fallen for him (after two months, I know that's waaaayyyy to quick but oh well). He's never been in love before and has only really dated different girls for a few months at a time. The other night, we had a night in at mine, watching TV and drinking. Long story short, he said something along the lines of 'I'm cool with how things are, hanging out and having sex, I don't want anything more'.
This broke me down. I said to him 'oh yeah, me neither' as a self defense thing and that was the end of the conversation. We continued chatting as normal and just ignored that was said. Just as we were falling asleep, I (drunkenly) said to him 'I don't think we should see each other anymore, I'm getting too emotionally invested'. He didn't say anything and we went to sleep.
That morning, we hung out a bit more and went for brunch, shopping etc. Later, after I went home, he spent the evening texting me even though I wasn't replying quickly/short replies because I was so upset that (seemingly as usual - guys only want me for sex) he wanted me for sex and nothing more.
Question: I just don't understand what's happened. He texts first, calls me all the time, sees me often and we hang out with his friends, everything is amazing. And then he says he doesn't want anything more serious than a FWB type situation? Even though he always makes the most effort and his friends think he's super serious about me? Can anyone (maybe any guys?) explain why he would be like that? What should I do?
TLDR: Met amazing guy, I've fallen for him. He's never had a long-term relationship and he's never been in love. He basically says he doesn't want more than a FWB type thing even though he makes such an effort for me, we spend so much time together, he says he misses me, he says he likes me so much and his friends think he's super smitten. Why? And what do I do about it?
Ugh, I never thought I'd be one of those girls posting on TSR about relationship advice but anyway.
Basically, I met this guy on a night out (lets call him Jon). I'm 21, he's 27. We've been dating since (exclusively) for about two months.
Two weeks in, he asked me to go with him to his work charity ball with him. I thought it was a bit much, but it was fun anyway. I see him about twice a week (staying over at either his or mine after we hang out either just me and him or me, him and his friends).
Two of his female friends have said to me that they are so surprised, Jon never introduces them to girls he's seeing and I must be something special for him to be so into me. I get on so well with his friends, they invite me to things automatically, just assuming I'd be with Jon anyway.
So everything is going well. He's pretty much perfect for me. He's so intelligent and funny and cute and we get along so well. This is surprising because I'm used to ****ed up abusive relationships or dodgy ONS normally. We talk about anything and everything - silly inside jokes, family problems, my mental health issues, absolutely anything.
Problem is, I've fallen for him (after two months, I know that's waaaayyyy to quick but oh well). He's never been in love before and has only really dated different girls for a few months at a time. The other night, we had a night in at mine, watching TV and drinking. Long story short, he said something along the lines of 'I'm cool with how things are, hanging out and having sex, I don't want anything more'.
This broke me down. I said to him 'oh yeah, me neither' as a self defense thing and that was the end of the conversation. We continued chatting as normal and just ignored that was said. Just as we were falling asleep, I (drunkenly) said to him 'I don't think we should see each other anymore, I'm getting too emotionally invested'. He didn't say anything and we went to sleep.
That morning, we hung out a bit more and went for brunch, shopping etc. Later, after I went home, he spent the evening texting me even though I wasn't replying quickly/short replies because I was so upset that (seemingly as usual - guys only want me for sex) he wanted me for sex and nothing more.
Question: I just don't understand what's happened. He texts first, calls me all the time, sees me often and we hang out with his friends, everything is amazing. And then he says he doesn't want anything more serious than a FWB type situation? Even though he always makes the most effort and his friends think he's super serious about me? Can anyone (maybe any guys?) explain why he would be like that? What should I do?
TLDR: Met amazing guy, I've fallen for him. He's never had a long-term relationship and he's never been in love. He basically says he doesn't want more than a FWB type thing even though he makes such an effort for me, we spend so much time together, he says he misses me, he says he likes me so much and his friends think he's super smitten. Why? And what do I do about it?
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