Hello people,
As of a few days ago, my recent relationship ended. We haven't had any form of contact since and I'm not going to lie it's hurting me quite a bit. Towards the end, things became very rocky due to some issues which I will list: He had stopped coming to see me (despite living an hour away) for the past four months, so I was the one driving to him every so often. He said the reason was he had become ill, which I did indeed believe until I drove up to see him and he seemed just fine. His next reason was money, stating that he was feeling better but he hadn't any money coming in. I in turn told him I didn't mind giving him money to come and see me, but he refused it. This year had been pretty hard on him. His best friend died, he had lost his job and moved back in with his mother. On top of that he had PTSD from being overseas. I as well have it and understand that he fell into a deep depression. I very much tried to help him by urging him to get out, seek help, look for a new job , but things never went that way.
We argued non-stop. He tried controlling the things I did, asking me not to go out so much, to not talk to certain friends of mine, not to go online much (facebook or instagram), take down certain pictures I even put up on social media websites and to make profiles private because he didn't want random people contacting me. I could understand if I put up provocative pictures, but they were just one or two "selfies". Regardless, I did everything he asked and I never asked one thing of him except to try and make time to see me. I had slowly become so very anti-social to the point of hardly even talking to family members I LIVE with. I don't know what had become of me and why I became that way, but friends would text me and I would never respond. Sometimes I would, but once every few hours because all I could think about was how my relationship was failing and how much he would fight with me.
On my birthday, he came to see me (last friday) and it hurt me to think of how I wouldn't experience these happy feelings with him until most likely months from now. I enjoyed the time we had when he was here so much and I just couldn't shake the thought of "How long am I going to have to wait again until I see him?" So a few nights ago, I told him that. I told him he needs to start making changes in his life to better himself, push himself to get out there and get help. I said I didn't want to have to wait and wonder when the next time I would see him would be because I swear that messed with my head a lot at times. And what he told me very much took me by surprise. He told me I was selfish and to have a good life. Never said a word after that to me, hasn't tried to make any sort of contact with me.
He has once told me he's done with me, we didn't talk for a day or two and then he texted me. It appears though, that isn't going to be happening this time.
My question to everyone here is: What the heck should I do? Should I just not contact him even though its all I want to do? Is he sincerely finished with me? I still have some of his things he gave me, and I keep thinking he's going to contact me asking for them or something but I'm not sure whether to toss them out or not. I feel like pretty much nothing because of all of this.
As of a few days ago, my recent relationship ended. We haven't had any form of contact since and I'm not going to lie it's hurting me quite a bit. Towards the end, things became very rocky due to some issues which I will list: He had stopped coming to see me (despite living an hour away) for the past four months, so I was the one driving to him every so often. He said the reason was he had become ill, which I did indeed believe until I drove up to see him and he seemed just fine. His next reason was money, stating that he was feeling better but he hadn't any money coming in. I in turn told him I didn't mind giving him money to come and see me, but he refused it. This year had been pretty hard on him. His best friend died, he had lost his job and moved back in with his mother. On top of that he had PTSD from being overseas. I as well have it and understand that he fell into a deep depression. I very much tried to help him by urging him to get out, seek help, look for a new job , but things never went that way.
We argued non-stop. He tried controlling the things I did, asking me not to go out so much, to not talk to certain friends of mine, not to go online much (facebook or instagram), take down certain pictures I even put up on social media websites and to make profiles private because he didn't want random people contacting me. I could understand if I put up provocative pictures, but they were just one or two "selfies". Regardless, I did everything he asked and I never asked one thing of him except to try and make time to see me. I had slowly become so very anti-social to the point of hardly even talking to family members I LIVE with. I don't know what had become of me and why I became that way, but friends would text me and I would never respond. Sometimes I would, but once every few hours because all I could think about was how my relationship was failing and how much he would fight with me.
On my birthday, he came to see me (last friday) and it hurt me to think of how I wouldn't experience these happy feelings with him until most likely months from now. I enjoyed the time we had when he was here so much and I just couldn't shake the thought of "How long am I going to have to wait again until I see him?" So a few nights ago, I told him that. I told him he needs to start making changes in his life to better himself, push himself to get out there and get help. I said I didn't want to have to wait and wonder when the next time I would see him would be because I swear that messed with my head a lot at times. And what he told me very much took me by surprise. He told me I was selfish and to have a good life. Never said a word after that to me, hasn't tried to make any sort of contact with me.
He has once told me he's done with me, we didn't talk for a day or two and then he texted me. It appears though, that isn't going to be happening this time.
My question to everyone here is: What the heck should I do? Should I just not contact him even though its all I want to do? Is he sincerely finished with me? I still have some of his things he gave me, and I keep thinking he's going to contact me asking for them or something but I'm not sure whether to toss them out or not. I feel like pretty much nothing because of all of this.
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