Hi, sorry if I have posted this in the wrong section, obviously feel free to move the post if required :)
Been with my partner for 5 years and 2 months ago she wanted a break out of the blue. She now wants 6 months to sort out her psychological issues with her abusive childhood and previous marriage. I noticed in the past months prior to a couple months ago when she wanted the first break, that, she was becoming more emotional and becoming less affectionate and more glum.
We are both divorcee's with a couple of kids each. Having a break sucks because we don't live together; we live down the street from each other though. I have always been there for her through thick and thin and it sucks knowing she doesn't want me in her life at the moment, which means I can't try and help.
She told me a few days ago that she secretly wishes I would meet someone else because its not fair on me to wait 6 months and that I deserve better/happiness in my life. I can't see myself spending my life with anyone else but her despite the trials and tribulations with crazy exs, blending families etc etc. I am confused because if she really loved me then I thought she would want me around and not push me away. Or to the point where she says she would rather I find someone else and be happy. I told her she sounds like a martyr; which is just ridiculous. She also tells me she still cares for me. Ugh I don't know I am meant to do in a situation like this. She also said: If you find anyone else during our break then that's fine. If you go out with another person for dinner or drinks, then I prefer you didn't tell me about it.
The thing is I don't want to go out with other people; I love her so so so much. Is she giving me permission to 'see' other people? Even if I did, I would feel guilty plus not telling her would make me feel even more guilty.
UGH! I don't know what this all means. A friend of mine said perhaps she's trying to let you down easy but six months is excessive and it's not fair on you.
Someone else said, breaks just don't work out because if they truly loved you then they would want you around more than ever; you cannot grow closer if you are apart. The person was talking from experience.
We have had our little break ups in the past, like a week or two. But nothing on this scale. I think this might be the last break should it happen again.
Sorry if I sounded all over the shop but it shows the state of my mind at the moment.
What would you do? What does this all mean? Please ask any questions you may need to post a reply :)
btw, being harsh too is fine, I can take it.
Been with my partner for 5 years and 2 months ago she wanted a break out of the blue. She now wants 6 months to sort out her psychological issues with her abusive childhood and previous marriage. I noticed in the past months prior to a couple months ago when she wanted the first break, that, she was becoming more emotional and becoming less affectionate and more glum.
We are both divorcee's with a couple of kids each. Having a break sucks because we don't live together; we live down the street from each other though. I have always been there for her through thick and thin and it sucks knowing she doesn't want me in her life at the moment, which means I can't try and help.
She told me a few days ago that she secretly wishes I would meet someone else because its not fair on me to wait 6 months and that I deserve better/happiness in my life. I can't see myself spending my life with anyone else but her despite the trials and tribulations with crazy exs, blending families etc etc. I am confused because if she really loved me then I thought she would want me around and not push me away. Or to the point where she says she would rather I find someone else and be happy. I told her she sounds like a martyr; which is just ridiculous. She also tells me she still cares for me. Ugh I don't know I am meant to do in a situation like this. She also said: If you find anyone else during our break then that's fine. If you go out with another person for dinner or drinks, then I prefer you didn't tell me about it.
The thing is I don't want to go out with other people; I love her so so so much. Is she giving me permission to 'see' other people? Even if I did, I would feel guilty plus not telling her would make me feel even more guilty.
UGH! I don't know what this all means. A friend of mine said perhaps she's trying to let you down easy but six months is excessive and it's not fair on you.
Someone else said, breaks just don't work out because if they truly loved you then they would want you around more than ever; you cannot grow closer if you are apart. The person was talking from experience.
We have had our little break ups in the past, like a week or two. But nothing on this scale. I think this might be the last break should it happen again.
Sorry if I sounded all over the shop but it shows the state of my mind at the moment.
What would you do? What does this all mean? Please ask any questions you may need to post a reply :)
btw, being harsh too is fine, I can take it.
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