Lesbian Marriage in Shambles but I still Believe!

I'm in a same-sex marriage with a 42 yr old woman (I'm going to be 34 soon) who has emotionally separated from me and doesn't have any hope that we can repair our relationship. In fact, I'm highly suspicious that she's having a long distance affair with a HS friend she recently (and randomly) reconnected with. She's sneaky now...taking her phone with her into the bathroom, putting it on vibrate, spending hours on FB in the early morning hours. I've asked her about it and she has denied it but I don't believe her. I think the stress and tension we were dealing with before this woman came into the picture is now being magnified by the two of them and as a result, my wife has given up on me.

We both know we have a serious communication issue. we have built up so many walls and defenses over our one yr marriage that we can barely believe the other does anything genuinely. We haven't seen the best in each other and it hurts so badly that every loving thing I do is taken for granted and/or seen as a fluke. I'm sure she feels the same and that hurts, too, because I feel like I've never gotten a fair chance from her to show her that I'm fully committed and in love.
Add to this that she is completely age-obsessed and is probably going thru a mid life crisis.

I want to save my marriage. I want my wife start believing in us again. Up until now we've had no abuse/addiction/infidelity issues. It's just us needing to stop seeing each other as the enemy. Help!

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