I'm 24. Basically just had a breakup of a month long relationship and feeling at a loose end. I keep picking the wrong guys that don't want to settle down and I wonder if like attracts like. I never go for the guys who want something real, or I don't happen to fancy them. I just feel scared when I think about being in a relationship with a man. My last breakup happened because he didn't know what he wanted. I'm pondering now whether actually I don't know what I want either.
It's like I'm in no rush to settle down. I quit online dating because I felt that going on dates was a pressure for me. I feel better about meeting someone and something happening naturally. I feel happy being single and a relationship would be nice but I never look for one. I never feel lonely if I don't have a boyfriend. I've got so used to being independent.
I've never had healthy relationships. I was with a man who was physically and verbally abusive to me. Then I was with a guy who wasn't right for me and treated me really badly. During university I got lost in my relationships and never really spent time learning independence and happiness on my own, nor making enough friends. I also struggled with mental health problems and I'm only just starting to develop some normality in my life after that. I was in one relationship for a year until I was 19; and the other for 3 years when we were about to become engaged.
2 years later and I just don't know what I want in relationships. I like the idea of settling down but I don't feel ready for it and I'm scared of getting involved with someone for real. I'm scared of real love. The idea of it makes me feel like I won't have choices in life or be able to pursue a career. I'm currently living in my small home town having graduated in the summer. I'm still unemployed and looking for work and I don't know where I'll end up. My main goal now is to become independent, move out of my parents house and find a job (maybe not a dream job, but one I'll like). I feel like moving to a city and finding myself.
I feel quite lost in life at the moment...and I think that's beginning to reflect on how I view relationships. I go on dates and I get freaked out thinking "is there a spark? Do I have to make a decision about this being the one?". Ahhh. I think about whether I'll make the wrong decision...like when I broke up with that boyfriend of 3 years when I realised he wasn't the one.
How do I stop feeling like this? Does anyone feel similar?
It's like I'm in no rush to settle down. I quit online dating because I felt that going on dates was a pressure for me. I feel better about meeting someone and something happening naturally. I feel happy being single and a relationship would be nice but I never look for one. I never feel lonely if I don't have a boyfriend. I've got so used to being independent.
I've never had healthy relationships. I was with a man who was physically and verbally abusive to me. Then I was with a guy who wasn't right for me and treated me really badly. During university I got lost in my relationships and never really spent time learning independence and happiness on my own, nor making enough friends. I also struggled with mental health problems and I'm only just starting to develop some normality in my life after that. I was in one relationship for a year until I was 19; and the other for 3 years when we were about to become engaged.
2 years later and I just don't know what I want in relationships. I like the idea of settling down but I don't feel ready for it and I'm scared of getting involved with someone for real. I'm scared of real love. The idea of it makes me feel like I won't have choices in life or be able to pursue a career. I'm currently living in my small home town having graduated in the summer. I'm still unemployed and looking for work and I don't know where I'll end up. My main goal now is to become independent, move out of my parents house and find a job (maybe not a dream job, but one I'll like). I feel like moving to a city and finding myself.
I feel quite lost in life at the moment...and I think that's beginning to reflect on how I view relationships. I go on dates and I get freaked out thinking "is there a spark? Do I have to make a decision about this being the one?". Ahhh. I think about whether I'll make the wrong decision...like when I broke up with that boyfriend of 3 years when I realised he wasn't the one.
How do I stop feeling like this? Does anyone feel similar?
Put the internet to work for you.
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