Hello everyone,
I am from Kosovo actually living in Italy. I am 24 years old and two years ago I got married with a beautiful girl. Since I got married I have the same problem every day. Here is the story:
When I was young I was pretty fat and children used to ( some still do it ) call me Pig and told me that I will never be able to find a girl and get married. When I started to date a girl, people ( sometimes my family as well) would say that she is ugly, she is thin or she is fat like you. I felt like I should be with someone and make others "happy" and not to press on me with my private life. I have always been so sensitive and by the way I have anxiety disorder and I can say that I have lived for others.
Anyway this story went on with all my three girlfriends I had. As I said they would laugh on me about my girlfriend, about me and etc. in 2010 I met a beautiful girl, my queen ( today she is my wife ), I met her learning foreign languages on internet and after some months we decided to meet with each other. Oh God she was beautiful, I enjoyed 5 days with her on the beach. I was proud of her beauty. She would go back home, in Italy and I went home in Kosovo. My family would say me that she is stranger, friends would say the same and even though I was so much in love with her I would feel the same as I used to be with other girls. We talked about our lifes, our baby names, everything. She was 4 years older than me but being sensitive just like me because she had a problem and people would laugh on her, she had just one boyfriend and she had sex with me for the first time! Anyways, I was so happy to speak with her, stay and hug her, but being in a muslim country people would spe ak about me as described below sso I started not to be in love with her as before. One day another girl wanted me and I think she was playing with me so I started to speak with her, would say I love you and I would have children with you and name them as I had planned with my other gf ( now my wife). I was so stupid and I destroyed everything. Luckily I never met her and before going to meet with my real gf, now my wife, I promised myself not to speak with her anymore. Itt was only online on internet but I cant beleive how stupid Ia was!!! Why I did that, why I listened to people again!!! My girlfriend now my wife would discover it while she visited me in my country and would cry so bad that I had never seen someone lcrying like that. She felt bad, and she left me and I was so shamed to call her back anymore.
After some months she would call me and oh my a God I was in paradise, I was so happy and definitely I decided to marry her and let my country, studies, family friends and everything for her. I did a tattooed her name as well just to forgive me. We got married and moved here in Italy but problems started just some days after the marriage. She feels cheatted, she keeps telling me that I destroyed everything. She did beat me sometimes and would not let me go out. She punishes me with throwing things out of window. She told me once that she does it because she remindes of other girls and have to do these obssesions. I cant visit my family as she remembers of what happened. I know she is different and if this would not happened we would be so happy. I destroyed it and I feel so bad even though all of this was after three months of our realitionship and I had not sex with anyone. I want to make her understand that I come from an islamic country and my tradition are different but I am able to change mtself, not to listen what others say about us and go on and be happy together once more!
I love her and I feel so bad for what happened, but I swear on God I never kissed or had sex with someone else ecxept with her. Now she sleeps in another room and this situation is killing me. I love her more than everything in this world. I want only to be forgiven because I love her so much. She doesnt want to have sex with me and I dont know what to do. I cant let her go...i love her.
I am sorry for such a long post but please help me I need help.
Thanks for having read my topis and sorry for my poor english. God bless you.
I am from Kosovo actually living in Italy. I am 24 years old and two years ago I got married with a beautiful girl. Since I got married I have the same problem every day. Here is the story:
When I was young I was pretty fat and children used to ( some still do it ) call me Pig and told me that I will never be able to find a girl and get married. When I started to date a girl, people ( sometimes my family as well) would say that she is ugly, she is thin or she is fat like you. I felt like I should be with someone and make others "happy" and not to press on me with my private life. I have always been so sensitive and by the way I have anxiety disorder and I can say that I have lived for others.
Anyway this story went on with all my three girlfriends I had. As I said they would laugh on me about my girlfriend, about me and etc. in 2010 I met a beautiful girl, my queen ( today she is my wife ), I met her learning foreign languages on internet and after some months we decided to meet with each other. Oh God she was beautiful, I enjoyed 5 days with her on the beach. I was proud of her beauty. She would go back home, in Italy and I went home in Kosovo. My family would say me that she is stranger, friends would say the same and even though I was so much in love with her I would feel the same as I used to be with other girls. We talked about our lifes, our baby names, everything. She was 4 years older than me but being sensitive just like me because she had a problem and people would laugh on her, she had just one boyfriend and she had sex with me for the first time! Anyways, I was so happy to speak with her, stay and hug her, but being in a muslim country people would spe ak about me as described below sso I started not to be in love with her as before. One day another girl wanted me and I think she was playing with me so I started to speak with her, would say I love you and I would have children with you and name them as I had planned with my other gf ( now my wife). I was so stupid and I destroyed everything. Luckily I never met her and before going to meet with my real gf, now my wife, I promised myself not to speak with her anymore. Itt was only online on internet but I cant beleive how stupid Ia was!!! Why I did that, why I listened to people again!!! My girlfriend now my wife would discover it while she visited me in my country and would cry so bad that I had never seen someone lcrying like that. She felt bad, and she left me and I was so shamed to call her back anymore.
After some months she would call me and oh my a God I was in paradise, I was so happy and definitely I decided to marry her and let my country, studies, family friends and everything for her. I did a tattooed her name as well just to forgive me. We got married and moved here in Italy but problems started just some days after the marriage. She feels cheatted, she keeps telling me that I destroyed everything. She did beat me sometimes and would not let me go out. She punishes me with throwing things out of window. She told me once that she does it because she remindes of other girls and have to do these obssesions. I cant visit my family as she remembers of what happened. I know she is different and if this would not happened we would be so happy. I destroyed it and I feel so bad even though all of this was after three months of our realitionship and I had not sex with anyone. I want to make her understand that I come from an islamic country and my tradition are different but I am able to change mtself, not to listen what others say about us and go on and be happy together once more!
I love her and I feel so bad for what happened, but I swear on God I never kissed or had sex with someone else ecxept with her. Now she sleeps in another room and this situation is killing me. I love her more than everything in this world. I want only to be forgiven because I love her so much. She doesnt want to have sex with me and I dont know what to do. I cant let her go...i love her.
I am sorry for such a long post but please help me I need help.
Thanks for having read my topis and sorry for my poor english. God bless you.
Put the internet to work for you.
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