A new book divides people into 3 categories (Giver/Taker/Matchers) in relationships and predicts who will be happiest. It's actually about business relationships, interestingly, but this article applies the model to general relating. You can easily extrapolate it to marriage.
Do you give all you can, and more, and then feel burned out? Do you assume it's your fault if a relationship bombs? You might be a Giver.
Takers are charismatic and can charm a crowd, but leave people feeling used up. They move on when they get what they came for.
Matchers give--but then expect an equivalent in return. You know, scorekeepers.
Which type are you?
Now, as for who finds the most success in relationships... Cheer up, it's the Givers:
"...[A]s Grant's book clearly outlines, givers are the ones who end up being most successful and happy if they are not taken advantage of. A large amount of research now shows that a lifestyle comprised of kindness and service leads to greater fulfillment as well as health and happiness. If you want to be happy and successful, it therefore behooves you too to be or become a giver."
Interestingly, givers are also likely to be the most UNhappy--if they allow themselves to get used up & burned out.
Maybe it would be helpful to notice who we are and who our partners are, and shape our expectations--and behaviors--accordingly.
Do you give all you can, and more, and then feel burned out? Do you assume it's your fault if a relationship bombs? You might be a Giver.
Takers are charismatic and can charm a crowd, but leave people feeling used up. They move on when they get what they came for.
Matchers give--but then expect an equivalent in return. You know, scorekeepers.
Which type are you?
Now, as for who finds the most success in relationships... Cheer up, it's the Givers:
"...[A]s Grant's book clearly outlines, givers are the ones who end up being most successful and happy if they are not taken advantage of. A large amount of research now shows that a lifestyle comprised of kindness and service leads to greater fulfillment as well as health and happiness. If you want to be happy and successful, it therefore behooves you too to be or become a giver."
Interestingly, givers are also likely to be the most UNhappy--if they allow themselves to get used up & burned out.
Maybe it would be helpful to notice who we are and who our partners are, and shape our expectations--and behaviors--accordingly.
Put the internet to work for you.
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