Hi everyone! I'm new to this site and really enjoy reading everyone's post- there is alot of great people on this site! Glad I found it.
Ok, so here's my story. I was married for 14 years, I have two stepkids (ex was married before) that are 21 and 19. We have one daughter together who is now 13. When we were first married, I begged my husband for attention, holding hands, romance, sweet words, cards, appreciation, etc. Didn't happen. My husband was a very negative, judgemental person. We didn't have alot of friends to hang out with because he didn't like anyone. For awhile I was a homebody but became very social when my daughter was in elementary school and I got involved with PTO, coaching soccer and softball. I made alot of great friends and got to know many people. BUt my husband hated it, said I never had time for him and didn't show him any attention (hmmm funny isn't it). About 5 years ago things got really bad, I drank alot so I didn't have to deal with him or our problems. Well he took advantage of me several times, I was literally passed out and he decided that he was gonna get sex. I litera lly felt used the next day but he told me that it was a wife's duty to please her husband. From that point on, our relationship took a dive. I literally pushed him away, didn't want him around me or to touch me. I focused everything on my daughter. I cannot even count how many times we said we were going to get a divorce but always worked it out. This past year we separated (Oct 2012), we did counseling (individual and together), but it was just too late, the marriage was over. We separated in May 2013 and for the most part it was amicable.
I bought a house where my daughter and I live (my daughter doesn't like to go to her dads often). Everything was on the right track but then I started losing friends because I finally decided that I was going to stick up for myself and because some were hanging out with my ex at bars, while I chose to stay home and take care of my child. I have a very low self-esteem after spending years being degraded and put down by my ex. I worry what other people think of me and am not confident in myself.
My problem is, I started seeing someone, he's a great guy, we hit it off right away, he was everything I wanted. Very romantic with flowers, sweet text messages, very affection and giving. I never thought I would want another man to touch me again after my ex, but this man gave me that desire back and the sex was fabulous. But things have gotten rocky and I'm not sure what to do.
The romance is few and far between, the text messages have ceased, the sex is now just sex and not as often (although it's hard because he lives an hour away and we don't see each other alot). Is it wrong for me to want more? I don't expect it 24/7 but it seems he no longer wants to work towards our relationship. I don't want to be in a rut relationship ever again, I want to be pampered, loved, and cherished and I'm the type of person that gives it right back! When I love, I love with everything I got and am willing to pamper, love and cherish the person i'm with. Is it wrong to expect it in return?
Ok, so here's my story. I was married for 14 years, I have two stepkids (ex was married before) that are 21 and 19. We have one daughter together who is now 13. When we were first married, I begged my husband for attention, holding hands, romance, sweet words, cards, appreciation, etc. Didn't happen. My husband was a very negative, judgemental person. We didn't have alot of friends to hang out with because he didn't like anyone. For awhile I was a homebody but became very social when my daughter was in elementary school and I got involved with PTO, coaching soccer and softball. I made alot of great friends and got to know many people. BUt my husband hated it, said I never had time for him and didn't show him any attention (hmmm funny isn't it). About 5 years ago things got really bad, I drank alot so I didn't have to deal with him or our problems. Well he took advantage of me several times, I was literally passed out and he decided that he was gonna get sex. I litera lly felt used the next day but he told me that it was a wife's duty to please her husband. From that point on, our relationship took a dive. I literally pushed him away, didn't want him around me or to touch me. I focused everything on my daughter. I cannot even count how many times we said we were going to get a divorce but always worked it out. This past year we separated (Oct 2012), we did counseling (individual and together), but it was just too late, the marriage was over. We separated in May 2013 and for the most part it was amicable.
I bought a house where my daughter and I live (my daughter doesn't like to go to her dads often). Everything was on the right track but then I started losing friends because I finally decided that I was going to stick up for myself and because some were hanging out with my ex at bars, while I chose to stay home and take care of my child. I have a very low self-esteem after spending years being degraded and put down by my ex. I worry what other people think of me and am not confident in myself.
My problem is, I started seeing someone, he's a great guy, we hit it off right away, he was everything I wanted. Very romantic with flowers, sweet text messages, very affection and giving. I never thought I would want another man to touch me again after my ex, but this man gave me that desire back and the sex was fabulous. But things have gotten rocky and I'm not sure what to do.
The romance is few and far between, the text messages have ceased, the sex is now just sex and not as often (although it's hard because he lives an hour away and we don't see each other alot). Is it wrong for me to want more? I don't expect it 24/7 but it seems he no longer wants to work towards our relationship. I don't want to be in a rut relationship ever again, I want to be pampered, loved, and cherished and I'm the type of person that gives it right back! When I love, I love with everything I got and am willing to pamper, love and cherish the person i'm with. Is it wrong to expect it in return?
Put the internet to work for you.
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