Hi all.
Ok, I just want to give a little bit of background to my post & explain why I'm actually writing on here. Firstly – I'm not a student but have been for many years. I've just finished my NQT year of teaching and am now into my second year. I still feel TSR is a suitable place to get advice from likeminded people even though the majority are still students.
Right – my problem. My boyfriend and I have been together around about 4 years in total. I went travelling during this time (we had discussed it before he and I decided to become a couple as it was something I have always wanted to do.) We did have a break during this time as it all got too much but we did end up back together once I got home. I used to rent in London and he came to live with me for a while (He's 27, I'm 26…) but his parents live in a really big house so they suggested that we live with them whilst we are saving to eventually buy somewhere of our own. We agreed at at first it was extremely hard, we also live with his gran (she lives there too) who has dementia and the situation is a difficult one to be around. However, it has enabled us to save and as a result we are now in a position to buy somewhere to live (he got a large sum of money from his parents, I saved some by living with his as opposed to paying lots in rent.) We've been there about 2 years now.
Anyway – this summer we went on holiday and my boyfriend is quite a cautious guy, he wouldn't want to do something if he feels he'll be rejected or it's not what I'd want SO the subject of engagement came up, the fact that it's a step we would both like to take and that although we would ideally have been in our own house before getting engaged, the fact is we still need to save (we didn't know at this point we could buy somewhere) and so it could be a long time until it happens and we don't want to be waiting years and years to be married blah blah blah. SO the long & short of it is that I knew that somewhere along the line it was likely to happen this year.
Now, in regards to moving out, we kind of got to the stage where we decided we wanted to see the position we were in financially and went to see a family friend who is a mortgage advisor and set my boyfriend and her husbands mortage up for them. Now, with the government's new 'help to buy' scheme that's being launched in January, he explained to us that come January, more people will be in a position to get a house and effectively this will drive prices up and we won't be able to save more than the value of the kid of house we will be looking for will be. He said it may come as a shock that it's come so quick but he strongly advised us to start looking as as we are in a position to actually be able to afford somewhere at the moment – do it before January to avoid being priced out of the market. Now, I thought he was being dramatic but I've been reading the times, the telegraph and soo mnay reports over the last couple of weeks have been saying exactly the same, that prices are going to ve driven up and we will again be in a 'bubble' etc etc. So since then, my boyfriend and I began looking and actually did find the most perfect house for us which we absolutely love. We did feel it was very quick but the house was a great price, has had lots of money spent on it and already had two offers (both of which didn't go through as there was a chain and someone pulled out of both) so we were strongly advised to just go for it – which we have!
Now, from reading various papers and the fact that the house prices are rising I know that we've essentially done the right thing BUT - the problem is I KNOW that the engagement will be happening cery very soon (a week or so I think, from a convo me and my boyfriend had a while ago, not sure he remembers that I know!) and know I'm wondering – have we rushed everything?!?
Is the fact that they're both going to be happening at similar times going to take the magic away from them both as separate events? I wanted to be able to cherish them both individually and now I feel like it's all happening together! Looking like we'll be engaged come a week and potentially have bought somewhere and be in by Xmas!!!
Am I being silly? I don't know why I feel like this but I always imagined things like this happening in turn and not all at once, even though I know my boyfriend has planned the engagement all summer and the house thing wasn't planned.
Before you say 'cant you get your boyfriend to delay the engagement' – no, I can't. He has planned it very well I think and I know that he just wouldn't do it.
I'm soo worried people will think we've rushed it all, or just got engaged cos we've bought a house when that's not the case at all. To make matters worse my sister is living in Oz for a year, not back till next summer so will miss the house buying and engagement :(
Thank you for ANY help! :(
Ok, I just want to give a little bit of background to my post & explain why I'm actually writing on here. Firstly – I'm not a student but have been for many years. I've just finished my NQT year of teaching and am now into my second year. I still feel TSR is a suitable place to get advice from likeminded people even though the majority are still students.
Right – my problem. My boyfriend and I have been together around about 4 years in total. I went travelling during this time (we had discussed it before he and I decided to become a couple as it was something I have always wanted to do.) We did have a break during this time as it all got too much but we did end up back together once I got home. I used to rent in London and he came to live with me for a while (He's 27, I'm 26…) but his parents live in a really big house so they suggested that we live with them whilst we are saving to eventually buy somewhere of our own. We agreed at at first it was extremely hard, we also live with his gran (she lives there too) who has dementia and the situation is a difficult one to be around. However, it has enabled us to save and as a result we are now in a position to buy somewhere to live (he got a large sum of money from his parents, I saved some by living with his as opposed to paying lots in rent.) We've been there about 2 years now.
Anyway – this summer we went on holiday and my boyfriend is quite a cautious guy, he wouldn't want to do something if he feels he'll be rejected or it's not what I'd want SO the subject of engagement came up, the fact that it's a step we would both like to take and that although we would ideally have been in our own house before getting engaged, the fact is we still need to save (we didn't know at this point we could buy somewhere) and so it could be a long time until it happens and we don't want to be waiting years and years to be married blah blah blah. SO the long & short of it is that I knew that somewhere along the line it was likely to happen this year.
Now, in regards to moving out, we kind of got to the stage where we decided we wanted to see the position we were in financially and went to see a family friend who is a mortgage advisor and set my boyfriend and her husbands mortage up for them. Now, with the government's new 'help to buy' scheme that's being launched in January, he explained to us that come January, more people will be in a position to get a house and effectively this will drive prices up and we won't be able to save more than the value of the kid of house we will be looking for will be. He said it may come as a shock that it's come so quick but he strongly advised us to start looking as as we are in a position to actually be able to afford somewhere at the moment – do it before January to avoid being priced out of the market. Now, I thought he was being dramatic but I've been reading the times, the telegraph and soo mnay reports over the last couple of weeks have been saying exactly the same, that prices are going to ve driven up and we will again be in a 'bubble' etc etc. So since then, my boyfriend and I began looking and actually did find the most perfect house for us which we absolutely love. We did feel it was very quick but the house was a great price, has had lots of money spent on it and already had two offers (both of which didn't go through as there was a chain and someone pulled out of both) so we were strongly advised to just go for it – which we have!
Now, from reading various papers and the fact that the house prices are rising I know that we've essentially done the right thing BUT - the problem is I KNOW that the engagement will be happening cery very soon (a week or so I think, from a convo me and my boyfriend had a while ago, not sure he remembers that I know!) and know I'm wondering – have we rushed everything?!?
Is the fact that they're both going to be happening at similar times going to take the magic away from them both as separate events? I wanted to be able to cherish them both individually and now I feel like it's all happening together! Looking like we'll be engaged come a week and potentially have bought somewhere and be in by Xmas!!!
Am I being silly? I don't know why I feel like this but I always imagined things like this happening in turn and not all at once, even though I know my boyfriend has planned the engagement all summer and the house thing wasn't planned.
Before you say 'cant you get your boyfriend to delay the engagement' – no, I can't. He has planned it very well I think and I know that he just wouldn't do it.
I'm soo worried people will think we've rushed it all, or just got engaged cos we've bought a house when that's not the case at all. To make matters worse my sister is living in Oz for a year, not back till next summer so will miss the house buying and engagement :(
Thank you for ANY help! :(
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