| Original thread on our separation: Confused and don't know what to do I will be posting in this new thread from now on for as long as we are working towards R. to sum things up I knew something was wrong and suspected cheating early this year but failed to find anything when I looked. She had an online relationship developing with someone in a video game (she has a problem with playing online roleplaying games too much) and proceeded to pack up and move out in late march, in her mind she had not cheated as she left before it became physical. She left me holding the bag on the rental house and a lot of her things she left behind that i had to box up. Threatened to leave town with S4 forcing me to file for separation very early on. Her thread was veiled in a possible need to move because she only works 12 hours a week and cannot afford to live. I stopped seeing my Step daughter who is 9 (SD) at the advise of legal counsel and my W took this as me totally abandoning her as I was a little too honest (i am too honest all the time) and I let her know I didn't love SD the way I do S4 but SD has oppositional defiant disorder and she really can push you away over time. We have an active divorce case with an agreement she signed at the beginning of July a day before we started sleeping together again. I have 50/50 custody of S4 and have maintained that since about 3 weeks after she moved out. Since July I have had SD on Friday and or Saturday every week against my lawyers advise. We have steadily ramped up the number of nights a week we stay together since July 4th which was the first night. Got to the point I was going home for 2-3 nights a week a month ago and now in the last month I have slept at my place a total of 3 nights, I basically live with her as I have not gone home for a night in 2 1/2 weeks. She is still only working 12 hours a week, I had told her I wasn't interested in R unless she got more hours as she was not a very good stay at home mom and played video games all day while i supported her for years. She is however in school now going to be a nurse so I will take that as something productive he r time is being used for. She does still play that game but her EA/PA is no longer playing with her (long story short he threatened her when she broke it off and was harassing her and threatening to post nude pics of her online she has the police involved) I am moving in at the end of the month and told her that I am not willing to move in without MC, so we will be starting MC this month. I am completely aware I fall into the "plan B" possibility and that is a risk I am prepared to take. I truly love my wife and my family. Thanks to the good people in the divorce and separation forum I now have an understanding of my nice guy issues and am working to curb that. I am also working on "doing more and talking less" as Conrad frequently reminds me to do :) | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
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