I really need some honest help!

This post will be long because I can't seem to get anything but sarcasm or misunderstanding without a full explanation. I have been with my wife since I was 14 (she was 18). It has been 30 years since I saw and fell in love with her. She got pregnant when I was 17 and we had a total of four children, the youngest is now 18. For the first 10 years sex was good and often. She would NEVER initiate anything and while it bothered me a little, it wasn't all that bad because she would at least give signals. The second 10 years there were several arguments about sex because I just couldn't get enough of it. Not because I was a sex crazed junkie, but because that is pretty much the only way I would get affection from her. I wanted to have sex 3-5 times a week back then and was a happy camper if I could get it. I would do anything and everything if I got it that often. The next 7 years got a lot worse. I would almost have to beg for sex and we would fight a lot about it. She would always tell me that she doesn't have the sex drive that I have and I am insensitive for wanting to have sex as often as I wanted to. At this point 2-3 times a week for me was good enough. For the last 3 years it has gotten worse and worse by the year. We have had sex probably 8 times this year (so less than once a month). Our relationship is horrible at this point. We don't really talk and are just roommates. I notice that most people play the innocent one anywhere online and I will do my best to give the total story with my faults along with it. This is an important part of getting advice from people. My wife has not worked a job in her life. I have supported our family for 26 of our 30 years. During our 30 years that we have been together I have done (at a minimum) 50% of raising the children. I took them to school, I took them to any and all functions in their lives, gave them their baths, changed diapers and shared the middle of the night needs of all four of them. I do all of the cooking in our house and most of the shopping. There are times when we both go shopping together but she never shops by herself. I pay all the bills, do all the banking, clean the pool, clean up after I cook dinner (just the cooking utensils, the kids clean the dishes) if there is ANYTHING that we both need I take care of it. I hold the responsibility of EVERY decision in our lives. If I don't make dinner or decide what we are going to eat, she will not eat and complain about her stomach pains and get emotional because she has not eaten. By the way, I make massive elaborate meals that require a lot of time. Now, she spends at least 9 hours a day playing games online. This is not exaggeration, I have recently looked through history on the computer to make sure I am not insane. And I didn't look through history for any other reason, I am not concerned in any way that she might be cheating on me, she is not, I am SURE of it. What I have described above is actually less than what goes on. Instead of me explaining everything I do, I have described a large part of what I do. It would make this even painfully longer than it will already be if I did. The only thing she does EVERYDAY is laundry a few times a week. I do not do any of the laundry unless she doesn't do it for a few days. Sex controls our day to day lives in a profound way now. I have gotten cold and un-affectionate day by day. I don't treat her like I used to because I feel like I am being short changed. I don't know how else to put it I guess. She has never been an affectionate person so I find love and affection in our love making and when I don't get it I turn cold, I don't talk, I don't do the special things that I used to do for her and they are growing less and less everyday. I used to make a pie that she liked, or just go shopping and buy her clothes that I thought she would like. I would buy her flowers or get her something that I knew she wanted. I have all but stopped doing all of these things over the last couple of years. And just for information, the sex didn't stop because I stopped doing those things, it stopped because I don't get any return in anyway sexual or otherwise. I am guessing that we would probably have more sex than we do if I continued to do it the way we always have but it's not right. If I try something with her when we go to bed 30 times out of the month I will get rejected 25 of them. And it's not even a clear rejection, it is a rock back and fourth of disapproval or a comment that she will do it, but I can tell she doesn't want to by the negative comment. Even half the time that we do, I will hear something the next day on how I kept her up to late and now she is tired today, even though she didn't go to bed until late after playing a game for the last 4 hours of the night. I do all the work, I rub and scratch her back and do anything I can to make it good for her. I always make sure she is satisfied and I have talked to her in great lengths about our love making. She assures me that I am not doing anything wrong and she always enjoys herself. She even has said a thousand times that she doesn't understand why she doesn't want to do it because she really enjoys it once started. In 30 years I have finished twice without her being finished. I have recently considered cheating but just haven't been able to. I still love her and she swears up and down that she still loves me. I am 45 now and don't want the life that I have. It is not an option to leave her because I do still love her and even if I am not being loved back, I don't think she could handle it. She has never taken care of herself and wouldn't know how to. Last year I started watching porn and when she found out she left me for almost two weeks. At first I thought it would be good, it then turned to anger on my part and I tried to threaten her with divorce. She held her ground until I folded. I missed her to much and begged her to come home. When she did come home she was the perfect wife for 3 weeks and then things went back to the way they were. We have had numerous talks about this and they just don't work. I am cold, mean and distant to her now because it just doesn't make any sense. If you love someone, can't you just spend 20 minutes per night to show you love them if you can't do it during the day? Can't you just stop playing your game a little earlier? When we do make love I am happy, nice and do everything you could imagine. I do this for a few days until the next time I am rejected and then I go back to being distant again which only limits the possibility of it happening again. I have overlooked this for so many years that I am incapable of continuing it. I have done and do everything possible to keep her happy and she was up until a couple years ago. If I wake up tomorrow she will take my joy and happiness and be happy herself. But like it has been for the last 15 years, it is at my expense and it wont change how she is towards me. I feel like I am just being used at this point and she is a roommate that has no responsibilities. By the way, I am 6'2 and 190 lbs. I have kept myself in good shape and take care of myself. I am sure nobody has gotten this far but thank you if you have.

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