MC and IC - totally different directions!? Help?

I've been in IC since March when I discovered some very sexual emails my husband had been sending to a coworker and a customer. I had a very kind, soft spoken woman at first who was all about keeping the marriage together and trying to help me get thru the depression, anxiety and damage to my self esteem. I was fairly happy with her but we never addressed some tough, key issues surrounding my husband's behaviour and what I need from him to recover. Most of that stuff I have learned from all you folks here are the many books I've been reading. I have since had to switch to another counsellor, a man this time. He is the total opposite of my previous IC. He is very much in in line with everything you all have gone through and what the books talk about. He is very blunt and point blank thinks it is best for me to walk away from this marriage to avoid further hurt from my H, whom he says is a narcissist. He says I am wrong to try and pursue this relati onship as I will only be hurt again. This all goes completely against the MC we are going to ... I realize the goal of MC is to keep us together and work this out but I feel as if the MC may be glossing over many of the key issues of the EA... The MC allows minimizing, blameshifting, rugsweeping etc.... H is constantly defending and justifying his actions by saying "don't make me out to be the bad guy", and "you are partly to blame for this". He tries to compare things I did with what he did, making them to be equal or that what I did was worse (I received sexual jokes, invitations to dates (which I turned down), once a nude photo and a proposal from one male client to have an affair). I admit, I was not perfect. There were things that I ignored, did/allowed and didn't do that lead to HIS decision to have an EA. I am willing to own those things and make sure they don't happen again. He says "this isn't all about you and your feelings". He has expressed remorse and cried, saying he was sorry , over and over again when I confronted him with the evidence but.... I just am torn as to what to do when I am getting two different points of view??? Part of me really wants to TRY to work it out but the damaged part of me is afraid my IC is right, that I will never change his behaviour because it's part of who he is (the part he hid from me for 12 years...) Advice???

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