How do you leave someone you're afraid of?

Me: 29 Him: 33 Together: 12 years Lived together: 10 years Married: 3 years Children: one daughter, 10 months. A little background: http://http://talkaboutmarriage.com/...scouraged.html I'm looking for any advice/insight from people who have divorced abusive/volatile spouses. I have made up my mind to leave, but I feel sick to my stomach when I think about how I'm actually going to tell him/get out. He has a history of property destruction, physical violence toward me, and has threatened suicide. I think he has a gun that he keeps hidden. He has repeatedly told me that if I leave and "take away" our daughter, he will have nothing left and he may as well kill himself. Once when we almost broke up, he said he'd thought about taking me for a drive and crashing the car so we'd die together. These could well be empty threats/ manipulation tactics, but I don't want to take chances, especially with a baby in the picture. I am going to IC today to talk it over, and I have some notion that I need to see a lawyer. I want to avoid getting police involved if at all possible, as this will only make him angrier. I want to avoid doing anything that could hurt my custody case down the line (e.g., fleeing with the baby). Plus, I don't want to make things any more contentious than they have to be- after all, we will be dealing with each other for the next 18 years, at least. I don't want drama, I don't want to get at him or make him suffer. I just want out. Thanks for reading and TIA for any advice.

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