stay opened minded and not over-react

I am looking for some unbais and experienced advise, to see if I am worrying about a problem that just isn't there. My wife had an PA many years back. She never admitted it, but there was just too much evidence to lie her way out of. The kids were young and I felt they needed me, so I dealt with it for awhile, but I turned to drinking to deal with the depression. That nearly killed me, but once sobered up, I realized our family life wasn't helping the kids at all. I moved my payroll to a new bank and rented an apartment, then told my wife I was moving. She went through her nasty routine which included threatening to take the kids and leave. When it didn't work, and she knew I was really leaving, it sobered her up, so to speak. I still moved out for a little over a year while she decided what she wanted to do. I wasn't living in a house where my wife comes home at 5am and is calling 'guy friends' in the middle of the night. Surprising we're still married going on 20 years this year, 14 of which I've been sober. I never quite recovered from the trust issues, but we talk a lot more and try to be more open. At least I think so. Again I starting getting misinformation when I ask about random events. I woke one night and she is texting on her phone at 4:30am. I told her to put it away and get some sleep, we had a busy day the next day. Later, I looked at the text records on the website, and found the number listed and asked her who it was. And what she was doing texting so early in the morning. I've got nothing but the run around. It's her sister. But the sister lives in a different town then White Pages lists this number. I must be confused. Then it starts into, well you don't believe her when I tell the truth routine. There is a difference between not believing and not understanding, correct? There has been similar situations. I was out of town and couldn't get reach on her cell. Once I did she couldn't give me an answer why is was MIA. After pressing her she said was at a funeral, and forgot about going, and must have left her cell phone off. To me, I guess her reasoning could be true, and maybe it is my lack of trust that is the problem. But they sound like total BS to me. I don't think she is have a PA, but she may have hooked up with someone from hgh school and having an EA. I hate to do anything if it is a mistake.

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