So baffled could H have mental disorder?

My H has some serious issues it affects the lives of me and our children. Well we're not really married but have been together for so long I think of him as my husband. He's happy and talking about the future 1 minute and flies off the handle the next over the most common stimuli in a house with 2 children under 3. He frequently resorts to name calling, belittling and blaming me for his problems. Its my fault he can't get a promotion. Its my fault he drinks. Its my fault he smokes weed. Its my fault he is so angry, its my fault we don't have more money. It was my fault when he cheated. Its my fault the children cry. Its my fault the kids don't see him as someone for comfort. Everything is about blaming others for his problems. He refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and it drives me crazy. His brother recently stopped talking with him for calling SIL a C**t and B**ch. He blames his sister for telling the brother what he had said. I saw him 2 cough and mumble C**t at SIL, we all knew what he was doing. Now he says I can't let our children see their uncles or aunties because they just need to get over it and I need to stay away from the sister that "told" because she is a "backstabber". I feel they are justified in wanting an apology. We constantly fight and argue in front of people so friends have become distant and I think my friends are just sick of hearing me complain. His friends have supposedly told him to stop coming around but he still hangs there at least 1 day a week. I feel like he needs a huge dose of grow the hell up. I wonder about emotional disorders. I told him last week I was ready to leave and he has only gotten worse only after begging me to stay its so confusing.

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