Help help help help

Back in 2010 my bf went to uni whilst i stayed at home to work for a year, we started going out in the august before he went away in the late september. the night he left i was so emotionally upset that i suggested we break up as i was terrified of him hurting me, he promised to stay faithful and true to me. anyway as the 1st few months of his uni went by i noticed he was distant, rude, didnt talk to me and wasnt a nice person. one night 43 days after he had last seen me one of his friends posted a photo on fb of him and this girl and the comments underneath it were "wayheyyy" etc etc. i asked him straight up and he told me which i now know was a pack of lies. he came home at the christmas and this was the 1st time i saw him since the september, everything was fine until he went back. a few days back and he was acting the same so one night i went out and got completed smashed and ended up kissing an old friend, i was in shock and completely upset that i told him straight away. he of course dumped me, i tried everything to get him back and all i ever got from his was confusion, hurt and abuse. He came home again at easter time and we spoke and he said that he could see i was truly upset and sorry and we decided to give it another go. everything again was fine until he went back and he finished again with me and still was my final straw i blocked him and tried to move on with my life. just before he was due to finish his 1st year i was taken into hospital and was really ill. he found out about this and showed that he really cared, he came home and all summer he made up for the way he treated me and the end of the summer we exchanged our first i love yous. this was also the time i had found out that he had slept with two girls before he came home at christmas and that he had kissed another girls. I was so emotionally upset that i stopped eating, started self harming and drank loads as i was alone at my new uni and felt like i had no one. he has tried his hardest to make up for everything he did to me and i choose to forgive him and try and work on our relationship. everything has been fine since, however this last weekend my stress and anxiety as come back and i feel like crap from all the past. can anyone help?

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