Betrayed

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we have two beautiful children. We had a great marriage and I felt that we both really loved each other. Before we got married there were some trust issues on my part but we were able to get through them since we went into therapy. A few days ago on my husbands way home from playing baseball and meeting with friends I had a bad feeling since I hadn't hear from him and decided to call him to see if he was on his way home. At first he didn't pick up and I could tell he was on the other line. The second time I called he picked up and said he was checking his messages which I didn't believe. I stayed on the phone with him for about 10 minutes and I could tell something wasn't right. He said he was on his way home and I knew he was about 20 minutes away. When 45 minutes had passed and he was still not home I began to worry since I knew he had been drinking. I tried calling him a few times and he didn't pick up the phone. He finally came home an hour later and he looked very out of it and he also didn't have his ring on. I questioned him about the phone calls and he said he didn't hear the phone ringing and he was driving slowly since he had been drinking. I asked to use his phone and noticed 4 calls to a strange number around the time I was calling him. He said it must have been a wrong number calling him. After digging a little deeper the next day and checking the cell phone statement I found out the number was an online escort after I googled the number. I also called to confirm that it was an escort. I confronted my husband and told him that I knew what he had been doing that night before he came home. He tried to deny it but eventually confessed that he met her at a motel. He said this was the first time he has done this and I'm not sure I believe that either. He has been apologizing and he wants to go to therapy together and separately to see if we can fix our marriage. I am so sad and confused. It has been a week and I feel a little bit better. I didn't eat or sleep for three days straight. My mind is constantly replaying the events and wondering why he didn't just come home instead of making a pit stop for a quick "fix" with an escort. He said he's in love with me, he hates himself for what he did and he doesn't know what he was thinking. I really love him but don't know how I can every trust him again. Please reply if you can relate to my situation and have any advice.

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