Is it divorce time?

First post so sorry if I ramble on a bit :) A bit of background... Married for 15 years, 2 kids age 4 and 6, I work 40 hours a week (4x 10hr nightshift), wife works 20 hours a week (3x 8hrs one week and 2x 8hrs the next). Our combined income is well over 100k so money isn't a issue. We have a nice house, she drives a BWM and our eldest goes to a great school. The problem... She rarely displays any affection or intimacy since about 6 months after child #2 was born. She says when we talk about it things like "If you just did X then Id be happy" or "I'm angry at you because I have to do all the running around after the kids" (I cant drive a car and even if I could it would be hard to justify the cost of having a 2nd one for the 2 or 3 times a week *at best* I would even get the opportunity to take the kids somewhere when I work such unsociable hours). At various points over the last 2-3 years when we've talked about this she had said much of the "If you just did A B C etc. then Id be happy and want to be affectionate" however when I do those things, and keep doing them I either get complained at (like today I loaded and turned on the dishwasher and did things that couldn't go in it in the sink then got whined at for not waiting until the dishwasher was full, basically moving goal posts). I've tried to explain how we both contribute equally but just contribute different things to the family however she things all I do is work and pay for everything. Pretty much *every* evening I clear the table and bath the kids and help them do their teeth etc. and on my days off I will cook dinners about half the time (and clean everything up etc. like I normally would). On days off I do jobs around the house (I put new draw runners in a chest of drawers today). I've said to her many times how much I appreciate everything she does for the kids. I never complain about her cooking and always thank her for it. I do my own laundry most of the time and will throw in hers or the kids if there's room. She was saying today she's "Over the whole marriage thing" but I don't want to gimp our children's futures without doing my best to keep us all together. Thoughts? Ideas? Anything? Thanks

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