| I believe we all deserve respect and to be with someone who respects them. My wife of 5 years and I have had many many ups and downs since we got together nearly 8 years ago. In truth, we probably shouldn't have gotten married. I am 42, she is 35. I am frustrated with my marriage to no end. I am not an anal person but I do think there are certain things that are just done a certain way or would be considered the "norm" among most. My wife on the other hand, takes absolutely nothing serious. That's not to say she has a great sense of humor, it's just never important to her to do something "right" because in her mind everything can be fixed. First, let me say, this thread is no where near long enough to describe 8 years of this behavior and how crazy it has made me. A lot of what I'm going to write may sound petty, but I assure everyone it occurs every week for 8 years and now feels like I've been water-boarded. I own a small business and my wife works part-time. She wants to be more involved in the business and my life, but I simply do not trust her and feel it would cause more problems in our life. She has almost no attention to detail, and it drives me nuts! For example, every week I find mismatched socks when getting dressed for work. Petty right? Hardly, I've also said if you don't want to take the time to match the socks please don't fold them and I'll do it myself, which she never does. I get my socks matched with my 15 yr old stepson's socks, socks with a nike logo and a CK logo. As petty as this may sound, go through 8 years of weekly finding mismatched socks. She sees it as no big deal. I'm sure some will say if you love her, at least she's doing your laundry. My response, if she loved me she would get it right. I swear it feels like she often does it just to get a rise out of me. Last week I worked late, and asked her to bring me and my helper some food. I ordered 2 whopp ers w/ cheese, cokes, and a regular red bull. I got 2 whopper jrs w/out cheese and a sugar free red bull. This kind of stuff happens all the time and drives me crazy. She feels like I should laugh it off, and I feel like if you're going to take the time to do something - do it right. I've long had a phrase for her which is simply - "Be right once, just be right once." It feels as though she just exists as goes through the day. My stepson acts just like her, while our stepdaughter acts more like me. The point is this, it's caused so much resentment in our life over the years that I'm at a point where I've started to say "what do I need you for?" I care very deeply for her, and love her but I'm at my wits end. I get tired of hearing, "I'm doing the best I can." How is showing up without almost the complete opposite of what I ordered the best you can. I constantly ask her to write things down and sometimes even write them down for her bc I know she won't. Inevitably, I have no confidence in her. I went behind her once and checked our bills, only to find out she had been paying the phone company for a phone we hadn't had in almost 20 months. The feeling like I have to check behind her on everything along with our almost non-existent sex life has pushed me to the point of feeling like what do I need her for. Any conversation we attempt to have usually leads to an argument. I'm truly so tired of putting up with the crap, I'm ready to leave. I can go on and on with examples, but I will stop for now and leave it up to you guys for advice. I can tell you this, I feel like the only time there is peace in our house is when I keep my mouth shut and let her just go about doing whatever. That doesn't work because after a month or two, I'm ready to explode. Help! | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
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