i dont know if i can trust again

ok here goes, I have been married for 10 years and we have had our ups and downs 7 months ago she told me she wanted a separation, it was my fault, I had been neglecting her for years and not being a partner in the home, I gave her the separation, I moved out to give her the space she wanted ,that lasted 2 months but due to finances I had to move back in and have been sleeping in another room we also have 3 children ages 2-9. throughout this time she kept telling me she needed space and that there was no one else, she had work friends but there was one that I had some suspicions about she would meet up with him to walk to work on allot of mornings, I would ask her and all she said is "what I cant walk with some one?". She told me if it bothered me she would stop walking with him, I told her it didn't (I wanted to trust her). Every month or so I would ask her if she had thought about what she wanted to do eventually she said she was done and had no feelings for me anymore , well that was devastating to me but I took it . we decided we would wait till the spring to sell the house and get a divorce a month ago I asked her to reconsider I had been making changes in my life and she noticed , she said she would reconsider but I had this gut feeling there was something going on . I got into her cell phone one night and found out she had sent this co worker (the guy she was walking to work with 7 months ago) a naked video clip of her, right when I saw it she caught me looking in her phone I was devastated, we argued she had always told me she was nothing but honest with me throughout our separation and there was no one else. 7 months of lies that's all I thought. So after 3 days of being a complete mess, not sleeping having a break down basically, she told me that it had started 3 months earlier with texting or sexting I guess they call it, then he sent her a picture of himself naked and she responded with this video clip. She says that hes a complete jerk (I know it I have met him before and his wife). I contemplated finding him and kicking his ass and then telling his wife. My wife held me back and begged me not too, it would destroy her work life and would have to quit if this ever got out. She now is willing to go to counseling and give our marriage another chance and has told me she has ended it with him. She still sees him at work Monday to Friday how do I know if it has ended and if it wasn't more than just texts and pictures. This man has met me has introduced his wife to me how do I now if he will stop (I did send him an email telling him to stay away from my wife) thanks for any advice

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