How to forgive your EX with kids involved

I'm 9 months out of my divorce and I'm struggling with forgiveness. On a cognitive level, I want to forgive. I know that when I can legitimately forgive, that i will find the peace I need. But emotionally, it's just the opposite and the emotions are stronger than my rational thought. At least that's how I feel right now. I have made some progress... 1. I've found it easier to forgive her for the poor choices she made during the infidelity. She was in the Fog, addicted(she admitted) to the OM, and had too many depressive and anxiety episodes. This I've been able to forgive her for what she has done to me directly. Dissapointing that she didn't give our marriage a chance to rebuild and put forth real effort after the bomb dropped? Absolutely. But I've been able to forgive her for this. 2. I made mistakes in the marriage too. I own up to it and I am learning to improve myself to be a better person and a better husband. It's been tough, but I am now able to forgive myself. Finally! 3. "Abandoning her kids (she left them with me) and only communicates via video chat 2X a week and sees them holidays and summers living in another state. This part(#3) I struggle so much with forgiveness. I am angry at her for doing this to our kids. I hate seeing my kids suffer when they miss their mom and have a meltdown about other things that I feel are compounded because of mom leaving. I want what's best for my kids. I want to protect them. But my EX's decision to stay far away (because living in my town creates too much anxiety for her?; out of sight, out of mind??) has affected them. I know being angry with her is more detremental to me. I'm not happy like I should be and I feel my kids are noticing. It only harms me, not my EX. How can you forgive someone who is so selfish to put their needs before their kids and risk having your kids grow up with emotional problems? Is she that emotionally damaged (GUILT,depression,anxiety,etc.) that she thinks she's more harm than good as a parent who lives close by?!? Maybe that's the way I need to view it? Is there a magic way of looking at all of this so I can move on?

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