could use some help

I put my story in another thread but a quick summary of what happened is 2 months ago H came home from work called me out to the car and told me he was leaving (after almost 25 yrs of marriage -we married young me20 & him22) when I suggested counciling he said no there was someone else and it had been going on for a while. I found out two weeks later he moved directly in with OW. He still has never said why he wasn't happy or who is he with or where he is living ( that I found out on my own and it turns out they are living in the same town as me and the kids) our kids are d23 s20 & s14 so there really is no reason for contact. He gives me most of his pay to keep things going and he gives that to the kids each week. He meets with them in different places they agree on because kids don't want to go to his house where he is living. They don't want to meet OW. I have kept away from him with no contact. I did write one e mail 3 weeks after he left to spill out my side and to try to find out what he was thinking. He did call but did not answer anything. Just said we could meet and talk but never made plans and I was not about to put myself out there again and beg. I had a horrible time for the first 6-7 weeks. I lost 35 lbs & had constant roller coaster emotions. I would just break out crying. I know I was by no means perfect but I couldn't understand how it happened so suddenly. In December we were still making plans for the future still sleeping in the same bed (we were still in the same bed the night before he left) we were still having normal "relations" until 10 days before he left. (His ulcer started to bother him really bad-now I know why) The past week or so I have been better. I used to entertain ideas that maybe his new relationship would go down in flames and he'd come back and we could go to counceling and re start but then I realized it was silly plus I don't want to be a backup plan for him. Hes very set in his ways and I don't think he feels any need to work on things.I know the kids are more relaxed and are okay (all kids still live at home college grad works - she was planning on moving out but has put it on hold for now son is in college & other son is in high school). I have re established friendships that I gave up 25 years ago when I married him and don't want to loose that again. But the past few days have not gone well. The roller coaster is back (although not as severe or intense as when it first happened) and I don't know if this is normal. I don't want to go back to where this all started. I feel I'm coming along slowly and am making progress but don't want to slide all the way back.

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