| Note: I posted this in the CWI section but didn't get any productive input so thought I would try here... History - I've posted this elsewhere but here's the short version: wife had an affair latter part of 2011 and I busted her in Nov & Dec 2011. She went no contact after Dec, got her sh!t together but I've been in limbo hell since. Last Wed I told her I had enough. I couldn't go on despite all the positive changes that she's made. I was still constantly triggered by her. I read "Too good to leave, too bad to stay" and found that I had a number of the "you would be happier if you left" characteristics. The breaking point though was when my kids were teasing me about never saying ILY to her. At that point I realized that I was setting a terrible example for them. We're still sharing a bed and I am still at home but that's mostly logistics around business travel. When I told her I couldn't go on I thought I would be relived but instead I was just devastated. We sat in bed that night and held each other and cried. She kept saying she just wanted me to be happy and if D is what I needed that she would make it as easy as possible. I also forgave her for what she did. It was the first time that I was able to and coincided with completely letting go. Now I keep second guessing the decision. I was out of town with friends this weekend and really missed her. 50% of the time I feel like I'm making a horrible mistake and I feel close to her in a way I haven't in months. The rest of the time I am ready to stat over. To be in love again. To have a fresh start. I feel horrible for what this is doing to my kids. I know they are tough but this will be the worst thing that's ever happened to them (they are 11 & 13). I've maintained that I don't think marriage can survive an affair but now I'm not sure. How the eff do you deal with this... | |||
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When you have had enough let it out. A forum style blog about relationship issues and concerns,join in and have your say.
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