What to do with my time after her affair, before resolution

Hi everyone, I haven't posted my story yet, but the main thing is that my wife of 8 months had a month long affair which resulted in them having oral sex (to be confirmed tomorrow by a polygraph), me finding out and her lying to me about it being just an emotional affair, and continuing to talk to the guy small amounts. 2 weeks later, she finally confesses that they had oral sex. I don't know where I want this relationship to go. So my main question for this thread is... what should I do when I have nothing to do? Normally, before the affair, when I have been bored, I took my own initiative to do something productive, or I'd just be lazy and chill. After the affair, my wife has been for the past 2 weeks the strongest person here for me. And in the last week, has been pulling out all the stops in handling all my pain and questions without judgement and knowing it may take months/years to recover, and even then, there will be a scar. We're both going to MC and IC. Anyways, during the day, I can call/txt her while she's at work whenever I have issues. I can also occassionally meet with friends during the day or early evening. My problem lately has been that she goes to sleep, and I'm left awake in various sorts of pain: anxiety, mental images, painful thoughts, depression, wanting to scream, wanting to talk, etc. Now, she has been here for me 100% for the last week, but at night, she needs to sleep, and I can't sleep. And I acknowledge that she can't be there for me ALL of the time. She has to have time to rest, eat, talk with her friends, you know, normal things. So what should I do with my time? I'm super depressed, so I don't feel like doing anything productive. It's also fairly painful to just zone out and watch tv, because the emotions just start to sort of bubble inside of me, and I have no one to talk with, which has been the best way for me to stabilize and not feel so in my pain. It's also night, and winter, and very cold. So I can't really call/meet with my friends or family. I mean, I could, if it was an emergency. But my pain is just a daily, constant thing. Something I need to learn to live with for awhile. What should I do? Normally I could fall asleep at this time, but my mind and my emotions (sometimes one, sometimes both) keep me awake. P.S. I love me wife a lot and want things to work, but I can't commit to it for now.

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