To Confess or not to confess...that is the question!!

I have posted previously about relationship I have been in and will summarise briefly. I am married for nearly thirty years and my children have all left home having reached adulthood. In September 2012 I re-kindled a friendship with a woman I had met through work a few years ago. Our previous friendship had been one of a romantic kind but not sexual. We had a lot in common and we met and talked about things of mutual interest, philosophy, art etc. She was at this time living with a much younger man and over the course of our relationship she fell pregnant from him. At that point I decided to end our meetings and for several years had very little contact with her. She contacted me again last September to help her with some work problems and we met up. By this time she had had a second child and was still living with her partner. She told me she was very unhappy in her relationship and wanted to move her life forward. I once again became romantically involved but again not sexually and over the three months between September and Christmas I met her on about a dozen occasions for meals etc. I led her to believe that there was a future for us and that maybe I would be prepared to share her life for her in the future including the care of her young children. It was always really a fantasy and she knew that after 24 years of parenting my own children I was not really keen on taking on anyone elses. Anyway following a recent illness that gave me many weeks without contacting her and time to reflect on my behaviour and everything I have to lose with my wife, family home friends etc I realised how foolish I have been and so last weekend I sp oke with her on the phone and told her we did not have a future other than friends. She was devastated and I apologised to her for not telling her sooner but that it was better that it happened now before either of us had ended our respective relationships. Now my question is this; my wife knows nothing about this friendship and my 'friend' lives many hundreds of miles from my home, so unless she trys to make contact with my wife there is no chance of them ever meeting, Should I confess all now to my wife and probably devastate her and possibly end our marriage. Is that fair or is that me simply dumping my guilt on to her. I am going to get some counselling to get to the bottom of my behaviour and look at the reasons that may have brought it about. My feeling for now is to rebuild my marriage quietly without confessing and deal with my own issues with help.

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